The new Babylon 5 golf course had proven to be quite popular. At most any time during the day, one or more of the ambassadors could be seen attempting to sink a putt or negotiate their way around the sand traps. Naturally, this golf course was like no other, as it gently curved up the circular "walls" of the space station for interesting situations. And the variable gravity gradients made it equally unusual.

Babylon 5 had tried to bring other earth sports on board, but zero-gravity volleyball   never made much headway and soccer was ruled out when it was learned that the ever so timid Pak-ma-ra-ra-rah considered the black and white ball an evil omen bringing a curse upon their first born zigglemuffins. Whatever the hell those were.

Ambassador Delenn came up to the third hole, par 5. Her caddie, Lennier trailed behind her dragging the clubs. "You know Lennier, this hole is like life. We are gray, we stand between the tee and the green. Hand me my 5 iron.". Lennier bowed and dutifully withdrew the club of choice. He spent the next 45 minutes cleaning it off according ancient Minbari ceremonial custom. Handing it to Delenn. he asked her if she was going to the talent show that night. "I understand the Mr. Garibaldi will show us what his favorite thing is. Do you know what it is??"

Delenn lined up the shot, concentrating hard she took a couple of practice swings. "I do know what is second, third, fifth, twelfth and twenty-fourth favorite things are, but as a matter of fact, I do not know what his favorite is. FORE!!"

On the fourth green stood Garibaldi and Dr. Franklin. The security chief was preparing to sink a putt, something he always had great difficulty in doing. This would be more difficult than the others, so he looked up, scratched himself, shouted "Hey look! there's a comet!". And while the doctor was furiously spinning around trying to find Comet Garibaldi, the chief swiftly and silently scooted the ball into the hole. "Well, whaddya know? I got it in!"...

Meanwhile Londo was on the first hole, complaining as he would usually do. "Fah! They expect me to get this teeny tiny ball into that itsy bitsy hole so far away. Why, in the old days of the Centauri Empire, at my mere whim I would have hundreds of Narn slaves, placing thousands of balls like this into millions of holes. Or would that be millions of balls into thousands of holes. Oh nevermind. Vir, hand me my mass-driver".

"Oh, Ambassador, I have a surprise for you."

"Hmm, what is it Vir". Londo sang out impatiently, while taking a practice swing.

"I have cooked up some fresh spoo-flambe' for you when this is over"

"Spoo-flambe'?, ahhh, I hope it is better than that spoo-a-la-mode from last week." the frizzy haired man said looking much like a well dressed chimney sweep broom.

"So, tell me" as he lined up the shot", just what the hell is in spoo anyway?"

"Actually, you better not know, just enjoy it" replied Vir, through his perpetually  meek smile.

"Fore!!".

The ball sailed groggily through the air and landed gently near the green. "See there Vir, there is nothing to this human game. What did I tell you! Hello! Little ball! I see you! You can't hide from me. . ." Londo said, as he marched gaily down the course.

"Well, that's Ambassador Mollari for you. The original Centauri with the Fringe on the Top!"

Narns and Drazi all flee in a hurry
To escape the passionate fury
Of our favorite drunken Centauri
With the fringe on top

Vir and Lennier both grimace when he cometh
All but Timov quiver in his presence
From this well dressed backstabbing Centauri
with the fringe on top

Oh his hair his high and his morals are low
The galaxy spins on his finger
If he's not grabbing worlds he's in the Zolcalo
Cheating at poker with his ummmmm-mmmmmm

(Garibaldi, G'Kar and some unknown Cowboy join in)

Come now Londo, you bleak future consider
Will you be praised or scorned as a butcher
Will either Deathwalker or Lady Morella, be...your...guide?
Oh you silly overbearing pompous tragic Centauri

With the Fringe on the top